Escape.

I sorta ran away from everything over the past two days. My work was canceled on Monday and Tuesday and I used to that opportunity to escape from my life. On Monday I walked around shopping for almost four hours. It was somewhat depressing because it wasn't long ago I had tried on almost everything in my path in sizes xs-s and sizes 2-4. Now it's back to medium tops and sizes 4-6 and "Oh...I don't want to try that on because I know I'll look terribly fat in it." Then on Tuesday my girlfriend and I took the day and went to Disneyland. We are both constantly dieting and we decided to just not care about what we put in our mouths that day. We agreed to not binge but we wouldn't feel guilty over a mickey mouse icecream or a churro. It was good but very depressing to return to reality. My birthday is coming up in two weeks. For the longest time I wanted to have a huge blow out. I wanted to get all dolled up and go out dancing and drinking the night away. Now that my birthday is so close and I am so incredibly unattractive, I would rather just do something more low-key and hidden. UGH. I'm so depressed right now. Hopefully some coffee and a good movie will cheer me up before I have to go to work.

love, pretty, thin.