Study.

I hate how hungry I get when I study. The best thing is that this is the last test for a long long long time. I spent most of yesterday studying and sleeping. I ate a lot, but once again, I didn't go over 1,000 calories. I can't wait for this all to be over.

Breakfast
1 cup cheerios - 100
1/4 cup NF milk - 23
2 cup coffee w/stevia - 6
2 tbsp. SF vanilla creamer - 30

Lunch
2/3 organic bean & cheese burrito - 200
diet pepsi - 0

Snack
banana - 72
quaker oat minis - 90

Dinner
spinach & feta omlette - 96
LF toast - 45
1/2 tbsp. smart balance butter - 25

Desert
1 cup coffee w/stevia - 3
1 tbsp. SF vanilla creamer - 15
mini delight brownie - 150
2 tbsp. light whipped cream - 15
7 almonds - 49

Total: 919 calories

Love
Pretty
Thin

Time.

Man oh man does time fly! I have one more final on Tuesday and then I leave for home on Saturday and I haven't even started packing! I've been so incredibly busy. I am so excited though to show off my bones :) Speaking of bones, my boyfriend went to poke me and jabbed my collarbone. He cried out, "Oh my god I was not expecting that! I forgot how skinny you are now." I can't even sleep in my favorite fetus position at night because my knees contact each other too much, so I have to put a pillow in between them. AH! It's awesome. I'm also excited to buy some new clothes as well! I've been cleaning out my closet and I have a lot to get rid of. Out of my tons of shorts from last summer, the only pair that fit me are my "sexy" shorts which I would never wear out because my ass would be busting the seams, but now they're just a little baggy on me. Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Breakfast
1 cup cheerios - 100
1/4 cup NF milk - 23
3 cup coffee w/stevia - 9
2 tbsp. SF vanilla creamer - 30

Lunch
avocado & feta sandwich on LF bread - 155
diet pepsi - 0

Snack
SF jello mousse cup - 60

Dinner
salad w/feta cheese, avocado and balsamic - 100
LF toast - 45
1 tbsp. garlic hummus - 25
diet pepsi - 0

Desert
LF toast - 45
1/2 tbsp. smart balance butter - 25
sprinkle of stevia & cinnamon - 0
chamomile tea w/stevia - 0
1/4 cup NF milk - 23

Total: 613 calories

Love
Pretty
Thin

Busy.

Hey loves,
I'm sorry I've been kinda absent again. It's finals week and I'm showing my apartment to hopeful renters. It's getting down the wire and I'm almost done! I'm so excited. I haven't been keeping track of my food, but I know I'm staying under 1,000 calories. Those extra calories have been coming from my study/pre-test snacks. If you have sugar during your studying and during your test you do much much better. Since I need A's in my classes, I figured it would be worth the small "snackrifice." AH! Anyways, YES I'm going to change my weight to 117lbs. I've seen it on the scale three days in a row now. I saw 117.5 lastnight (right after dinner) and I saw 116.8 this morning. So yay! I thought I'd drown everyone in thinspo today as well.

Love
Pretty
Thin

Courage.

So I've seen 117 on the scale two days in a row now but I haven't the courage to change my stats. I think I'm afraid this weekend is going to catch up with me or something. Maybe I'll wait another day. I just always think my scale is lying to me. Well, I did better yesterday...not at all great, but better. It's really hard to avoid over-eating when you have papers and finals to work on. I just crave sugar and salt so bad on those days, and would much rather rummage through my kitchen than continue working. Le sigh. I just need to get through this next week and a half and them I am DONE!

Breakfast
1 cup cheerios - 100
1/4 cup NF milk - 23
2 cup coffee - 6
2 tbsp. SF vanilla creamer - 30

Snack
small banana - 72

Lunch
egg white spinach & feta omlette - 94
LF toast - 45
1/2 tbsp. smart balance butter - 25
diet pepsi - 0

Snack
SF jello mousse cup - 60
7 almonds - 49

Dinner
WW english muffin - 120
1/2 tbsp. smart balance butter - 25
1/8 cup RF feta - 25

Desert
WW english muffin - 120
1/2 tbsp. smart balance butter - 25
sprinkle of stevia & cinnamon - 0
2 cup coffee w/stevia - 6
2 tbsp. SF vanilla creamer - 30

Total: 855 calories

Love
Pretty
Thin

Relief.

Thank goodness, even after my nearly week-long lack of self-control my weight has remained the same. Although I'm kind of upset because I probably could have lost another pound within that time. Oh well. It's a new day! I'm almost finished with school and then I can relax.

Love
Pretty
Thin

Sorry.

I am so sorry for everything. I am sorry to the skinny, thin, beautiful me I've tried to kill with poisonous foods. I was doing great and one binge lead to another. Why do I let myself do this? I can't I can't I can't I can't be fat! I hate it. I feel like I'm suffocating in my own skin. No MORE! I'm going back to coffee, tea, soup, fruit, salad and diet coke. These are the magic ingredients for my transformation.

Fail.

I feel DISGUSTING. I binged last night. I had a really really bad evening...it seemed like everything was going wrong. I was tired, angry, sad and I went straight to my cabinet. I went to the tippy top shelf where I new I had jar of peanut butter stashed away and just went to town. I had probably five tablespoons of chunky peanut butter. This is why I need to be consuming at least 800-900 calories a day and exercise more, because if I do I am less likely to binge. Ugh, another step backwards. I suck I suck I suck.
I need to keep in mind WHY I want to lose more weight. I'm going home in less than three freakin' weeks!!!! I'm going to list all of the things I'm going to do and will have much more fun doing if I am just THINNER.

1)L.A. trips with girlfriends
2)Reading/Tanning on the beach
3)Meeting up with old friends
4)New job
5)Join an ACTUAL gym
6)Camping
7)Volunteering
8)Club/Pub crawls
9)Shopping!
10)New car
11)Vacationing/Weekend trips

I want to look fantastic while doing these things and I can't do that if I'm binging on peanut butter.

I'm in desperate need of some thinspo.

Love
Pretty
Thin

New.

It's a new week and I'm getting closer and closer to my return home date. I hope I don't fuck up. I'm seeing results more in the mirror than on the scale. I don't know what's going on. Well, not much else to talk about today.

Breakfast
1 cup cheerios - 100
1/4 cup NF milk - 23
2 cup coffee w/stevia - 6
2 tbsp. SF vanilla creamer - 30

Lunch
turkey & feta sandwich on LF bread - 140
diet pepsi - 0

Snack
SF jello mousse cup - 60

Dinner
1 cup homemade chicken & broccoli soup - 80
LF toast - 45
1/2 tbsp. smart balance butter - 25
diet pepsi - 0

Desert
mini delight brownie - 150
10 tbsp. lighted whipped cream (I kept squirting it in my mouth...ew) - 75

Total: 734 calories

Love
Pretty
Thin